Marriage Tip #2: Laugh Together!


It was the middle of June, and I was at the end of my first trimester with Judah. I was exhausted and ready to head home for a nap. All I needed was for Luke to finish a meeting so I could get some much-needed sleep.

His meeting was supposed to end at 2, so I packed up my bag and walked to the car at 1:58. “Hey babe, ready when you are”, I texted him. No response. I scrolled through my feed for a few minutes before double checking to see if he was coming to the car.

“Hey babe, I’m pretty tired and looking forward to a nap, I’d like to leave as soon as possible” I texted, losing a little bit of patience as time continued to pass. And still, no response.

2:10. 2:15. 2:20. They all come and go, with no response or update on when Luke would be done. Now I’m starting to get upset. I call once. No answer. I call a second time. Still, no answer.

At this point, I’m pregnant, I’m tired, and I’m mad. It’s 2:30, I want to rest, and I have no idea when I’ll be able to. Finally, I decide to get back out of my car and head into the office to look for him. Just as I get into the hallway, Luke walks in.

He walks right up to me, holds me gently by the arms, pulls me close to look in my eyes, and says “Kayla, I’m so sorry. You’re NOT more important than a meeting.” I looked up at him, so shocked, and burst into laughter. In an instant, all the frustration at the lack of communication melted away and what could have turned into a huge fight was dissolved by a simple mistake in the way Luke attempted an apology. To this day, we still say it to each other to lighten the mood. To this day, it makes us laugh and reminds us not to take the small things so seriously. Because when it comes down to it, our relationship is so much more important than the little things that try to come between us.

Luke and I have made it an intentional priority to laugh together. Sometimes, life just gets hard. Sometimes life gets busy. And sometimes, life gets dull. But marriage is such a beautiful thing because in it, you have an incredible partner who sticks with you through all the hard, busy, and dull life events. When Luke and I first began our relationship, we started what we now call a “Funny Folder”. Every time something makes us really laugh, as in, belly-laugh, we write it down in the notes section in his phone. Sometimes before we go to sleep, we get out the Funny Folder and read through it. It still makes us laugh and it helps us to remember the reasons that we love and enjoy each other.

Laughing is so important because it helps bring things into perspective. It’s easy to get into a rut of taking yourself and your spouse too seriously. But have you ever tried to stay mad, while you’re laughing? It’s pretty much impossible! I encourage you to make a list of your funny memories, your inside jokes, the things that make you belly-laugh. Because life is too short to live with an unhappy marriage, and each of us gets to make the choice every day to enjoy it or to tolerate it. I’d choose laugh lines over frown lines on my face any day 🙂

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