Marriage Tip #3: Finding Common Interests


It all started when we were dating. That was when Luke decided to start golfing. It started out slowly, once a week here and there. And then slowly, it began to happen more and more often. He started getting really good at it, and wanted to go all the time. By the time we were married, Luke was golfing up to 2-3 times a week!

At first I didn’t understand. I couldn’t see what would be so fun about being out on a golf course for 4 hours. I didn’t know what could be taking so long! There were times that we would get into arguments over it, and there were times where we let it come between us.

Then one day, we were out for date night. We drove past the driving range, and I asked if we could stop there together. I was so curious where my husband was spending all this time!

We rented a club and got a box of golf balls, and Luke began to teach me how to golf. I wish I could say I was hooked instantly, but I totally wasn’t! It took intentionality and effort, it took time and practice. I had to convince myself that it was worth learning golf in order to have more time with Luke.

I took time to learn golf, and took time to just drive around the golf course with Luke. We invested in a set of golf clubs for me. Before I knew it, I was even watching golf tournaments on TV with him!

We were connecting on a deeper level than ever before. But why? Because I began to intentionally get inside of HIS world, instead of always expecting him to get inside of mine.
Marriage is about so much more than someone else making you happy. Marriage is about learning to serve your spouse, to put them before you, and to love them unconditionally. The moment I chose to get into Luke’s world, everything in our marriage changed. I began to understand what was so fun about golf. I began to understand why it took so long. The amount of arguments we had over it diminished completely. And in place of a previously sore subject in our marriage, stood something that actually brought us closer together. Something that we connected over. Something that we appreciated with one another.

Not only was getting into Luke’s world helpful for me to understand, it was helpful for him. Now that I was learning what he cared about, he felt cared about. When your spouse feels cared for, it’s a perfect recipe for an even better relationship!

All that to say, it is so important to find hobbies that you love to share with your spouse. It not only gives you something to do together, it also gives you something to talk about and laugh about together. It helps you understand each other better. And it really helps you have fun together! Getting into each other’s worlds reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place. Don’t wait for it to happen on it’s own, because it might not!! Intentionally go after those things that your spouse loves, and learn to love it with them. Before you know it, you’ll be closer together than ever before.

P.s. Some of our favorite memories have been on golf courses together. The time that we went to Hawaii, no joke, the golf courses were some of the beautiful places that we got to visit! See a picture taken there below.


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